Grieving During the Holidays
Perhaps one of the most frequently asked question around this time of year is “how do I get through the holidays without my loved one”? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer – nor is there only one answer. Just as each person grieves differently, so is their need to handle the holidays differently.
For many people, the holiday season is a special time marked by celebrations and gatherings with family and friends. It is a time to look ahead with excitement to the approaching New Year. Everywhere we turn, we experience holiday decorations, music, festivities, and advertising that show images of families being together laughing and sharing a wonderful time. The sights and sounds of the holidays are inescapable. However, for those who are grieving, the sights and the sounds do not fit with their feelings. It is often a time they wish to pull the covers over their heads and go to sleep, not to awaken until the middle of January. Of course, we know that is impossible to do. However, there are several things a grieving person can do to make the holidays less stressful and anxiety producing.
Make a plan. By having a plan, it will help reduce your stress, worry and anxiety. Remind yourself that plans should be flexible and can be changed.
- Plan for the day. Often the anticipation of the day is worse than the actual day. Having a plan takes away some of the worry of how that day will look.
- Plan to observe the holidays in a way that is meaningful for you. Whether you feel more comfortable with old traditions or doing things completely differently does not matter. What matters is that it is meaningful for you.
- Plan to be gentle with yourself. Everyone is stressed during the holidays. But, when your loved one has died, you have the additional stress that grieving can create, so it is important to be kind to yourself. Do not take on additional responsibility or stressors.
- Plan to honor and remember your loved one. This will look different for everyone, but it is important to do. This may be bittersweet as you feel the bitterness of the loss and the sweetness of wonderful memories of holidays past.
- Plan to spend time with those who allow you to grieve. Allow others to support and comfort you. Let friends know what you need and what is helpful or not helpful. Avoid those who tell you what you “should” be doing.
- Plan on spending some time alone, but don’t isolate. Taking some down time is very important and a part of good self care, but withdrawing from your family and friends is not healthy. Be sure to keep a good balance.
- Plan to do what is right for you, not what others expect of you. Don’t let others dictate what your holiday experience should look like. You know how your grief feels and what you feel capable of doing. Trust you know what is right for you.
- Plan to seek professional help. Talking with a professional counselor can be very helpful in understanding the
roller coaster ride of emotions you may be experiencing during the holidays. - Plan for a possible post-holiday let down. As friends and family return to their normal routines, you may feel let down and a bit more alone. Plan to meet a friend for coffee or for lunch sometime in January, schedule a massage, or start a new exercise routine.
We wish you peace on your ongoing journey and encourage you to be compassionate with yourself.
Upcoming Events
For many, being around others whose hearts feel similarly is helpful and learning about ways to care for ourselves can ease anxiety about the coming holidays. We have joined with other area hospice professionals in offering “Coping with the Holidays” an informational presentation providing strategies for getting through the holidays. There are many different dates, times and locations to choose from. If you have any questions regarding the time or location of a presentation, please feel free to call the contact person listed.
~Wishing you peace~
Coping with the Holidays - Presented by Agape Hospice and Evercare Hospice
RSVP to Agape 720-482-1988 or Evercare 303-229-6316
Thursday November 1st 1:00-2:30 pm
Crossroads Community Church
10451 Huron Street, Northglenn 80234
Wednesday November 7th 6:30-8:00 pm
Crossroads Community Church
10451 Huron Street, Northglenn 80234
Thursday November 8th 6:30-8:00 pm
Hebrew Educational Alliance
3600 S. Ivanhoe St, Denver 80237
Coping with the Holidays – Presented by The Heartlight Center
Saturday November 10th 9:00-10:30 am Cost $10
11150 E. Dartmouth Ave, Aurora 80014
RSVP to info@heartlightcenter.org or 720-748-9908
Coping with the Holidays – Presented by SoAlmor Hospice
Saturday November 10th 2:00 – 4:00 pm
2460 West 26th Avenue, Building C, Suite 300, Denver, 80211
Please call Beth Patterson at 720-474-6420 or email at beth.patterson@solamorhospice.com to register and for more information. Registration is free.
Coping with the Holidays –Presented by The Denver Hospice
Monday November 12th, 6:00- 7:30 pm
501 S. Cherry St., Suite #700, Denver, 80246
RSVP to Jennifer Yarbro 303-398-6234
Coping with the Holidays support group – Presented by Covenant Care
Tuesday November 13th 4:00-5:30 pm
Trinity Presbyterian Church, (in the library)
7755 Vance Dr., Arvada (1 blk E. of 77th and Wadsworth)
RSVP to Sally Carey, 303-731-8039 or sacarey@covenantcareathome.org
Coping with Grief Through the Holidays – Presented by Exempla Lutheran Hospice
A presentation offering ways to manage the holiday season following the death of a loved one.
Tuesday November 13th from 6:00-7:30pm,
Wednesday November 14th from 2:00-3:30pm and 6-7:30pm
Attendance is free but donations are accepted.
Registration is required. For details call (303)425-8000.
Coping with the Holidays Workshop – Presented by Hospice of Saint John
Tuesday, Nov. 13th 6 – 7:30 pm West Building, Education Room
1320 Everett Court, Lakewood, 80215
Coping with the Holidays
Presented by Porter Hospice and St. Anthony Hospice
Wednesday November 14th 1:00-2:30 pm
Gardens at St. Elizabeth
14th Floor Multi-Purpose Room
2835 W. 32nd Ave, Denver
Wednesday November 14th 4:00-5:30 pm
St. Anthony Hospital
Auditorium A & B
11600 W. 2nd Pl, Lakewood
Wednesday November 14th 7:00-8:30 pm
Porter Adventist Hospital
Twin Peaks Conference Room
2525 S. Downing St, Denver
Thursday, November 15th 4:00 to 5:00 pm
St. Anthony North Hospital
Main Conference Room
2551 W. 84th Avenue, Westminster
Film Viewing and Discussion: Presented by The Denver Hospice
Handling the Holidays by Grief Inc., featuring Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D, CGC, CHT
Monday December 10th, 6:00- 7:30 pm
501 S. Cherry St., Suite #700, Denver, 80246
RSVP to Jennifer Yarbro 303-398-6234
Holiday Tree Lighting Ceremony – Presented by Hospice of Saint John
Call for additional details 303-232-7900
December 7th at 6:00 pm
Time of Remembrance – Presented by The Heartlight Center
Join in this memorial service to honor those whom we have loved and remember. Free and open for all to attend. Each evening begins at 7 pm and lasts about an hour.
RSVP to 303-745-1771 ext 342
Monday, Dec 3rd-Horan & McConaty, 3020 Federal Blvd.
Tuesday, Dec 4th-Horan & McConaty, 1091 S. Colorado Blvd.
Thursday, Dec 6th-Horan & McConaty, 5303 E. County Line Rd.
Monday, Dec 10t Horan & McConaty, 9998 Grant St.
Tuesday, Dec 11th-Horan & McConaty, 3101 S. Wadsworth Ave.
Thursday, Dec 13th-Horan & McConaty, 3201 S. Parker Rd.
Monday, Dec 17th-Horan & McConaty, 7577 W. 80th Ave.
Holiday Remembrance Support Group – Presented by Exempla Lutheran Hospice
A time to honor your loved ones during the holiday’s, with the use of remembrance and ritual.
December 18th 6:00 – 7:30pm
Attendance is free but donations are welcome.
Registration is required. For details call (303)425-8000
“Those who have lived in our hearts are never really gone. As long as we keep them with us, in our hearts and our thoughts, they will be with us always. For love, which is timeless never ceases to exist.”
- S.E. MacNaughton